Tea Party 

​Come and join my tea party 

With my Dishevelled teddy bears.
I’ve saved you room 
Next to me, red ribbons in my hair

Bravely sent a special invite
Secret password inside.
Receiving this, a precious offer
Into the little world I hide

My flowery torn dress reveals
glimpses of my sins.
Cobwebs shroud and curtain my room
Dimming the light within

But in this junkyard of a room
A glowing pristine box, I reveal
Out comes my taintless tea set
With puerile excited squeal! 

Come sit down on my blanket
A little dusty, worse for wear,
Ill shake it off, with the grown-up world
Pretend I’m innocently unaware

Lining up my life long friends,
place them in their favourite spots.
Pour you a cup of notion
be careful now, it’s hot!

Please don’t sneer my callow coping
Or instruct me to grow.
This blanket is my sanctuary
From a world of adult woes

So come and join my tea party!
With my dishevelled Teddy bears
You just smile and put me
On your knee, red ribbons in my hair
 

Fading Girl 

​The Tendons in my hands

The Nodules on my wrists
Caressing my Ribcage
Collar bone bliss

Potruding hips
Pain when I sit
Dwindling complexion
But my comfort is this

Every adipose cell
Must be gone
Each storing foul memories
Of my Defiling liason

Suffocating me
This blanket of pollution
To starve it away
Is my only solution

The girl who was
Her power you stole
She’s become something new
Steely, bone cold

So pop the pills
Wrap up warm
Refusing to exist
While she transforms

Only nourished by
False sense of control
The Fading girl
Alone with her bones.

Psychotic lullaby 

​This clinical room 

The cold steel chair
Staring at myself
Silent scream, confused despair

Do my hands look larger than before?
Do these limbs belong to me?
Who am I?
I cannot be sure

I begin to see clues everywhere. Confirmation bias? Or becoming aware?

Bleed myself but feel no pain, fading out from reality, this voice in my brain
Whispers louder, resides outside of me now
Begs ‘take my hand, let me lead you out’

‘You’re not meant to be here, this life’s not for you, this world’s an illusion, let me show you. You’ll wake in a place where you belong, your kin waiting there, singing your song’

‘Every encounter you have while you’re here, is simply facade to ground you with fear’

Lead through the woods, under sinister canopy, red footprints behind, light ahead I see

He says ‘follow the beam, I will fix this all soon, at the end of the path, something gift-wrapped for you’

‘Your throat maybe dry but swallow them down, you’ll wake in the life you’re meant to have now. Dont be fooled by the foes holding you here, this is your chance, do it!’ he jeers

Autopilot, he’s holding my strings
This invisible puppeteer, who whispers and sings

But they tell me this light holds nothing but death. The voice whispers ‘they lie, you will wake up at rest’

‘So close your eyes, don’t let go of my hand,
I’ll sing you to sleep, deliver you to safe lands’.

Severance 

​Entranced by these embers

Smouldering, unshy
Our affection atrophies
Scent of decay waters eyes

Your belligerent reticence
Heavy and still
Stifling my breath
Choking my will

Desecrated my vessel
Wide eyed, still with fear
Your willful taciturn
Means no absolution here

Entranced by these embers
Burnt bridge left behind
Raw blisters and scars
Worth this schism enshrined

Little Serenity 

Soulless whisper
Shivers down my spine
Not from fear
This demon is mine

Guarded by power
Never alone 
Inhaling you in
With every groan
 
I submit to your will
Our eyes locked in stare
Each motion escalates
Becoming aware

Clenching my throat
Feeling breathless and pure
My vulnerable offering
Let your darkness endure

Helpless and high
Fragile and small
You could end my life now
I let out the call

Fears fade away
My sins laid bare
The peace in my mind
Only you take me there
 
You tend to my wounds
You’ve left your mark
Essence flows through me
Serenity starts

This isn’t the end
As you sway me to sleep
This demon is mine
I’m his to keep

 

 

Russian Doll

Lost inside this Russian doll, little me underneath it all
Each layer more blemished and cracked than before, the adult is scratched, scarred and worn

The innate soul is lost, naive spirit is gone. Identities are many, each a different song

Have to peel back the layers and heal from the start, this little girl lost and her childlike heart

Forgiveness and nurture were things never shown, take her hand, know she’s not alone

Lost inside this Russian doll, little me underneath it all.

Bulwark Lover

You rescued me from the bottom, stronger than the undertow. Hid me from those broadway lights, cowboy hats and beer flow

You swept me up, put me away, don’t ever have to worry ’bout another day. I surrender, willingly.

I don’t need to be free

My bulwark lover has got me.

Send me back to sleep with your whisky lips. Let me lay with you in my, sweet ignorance.

You keep me caged, sheltered from the world. Nourish me but no room to grow, this cage, has become my home.

Protected from the rabble outside, chains of love, keeping me blind. I surrender, willingly.

I don’t need to be free

My bulwark lover has got me

Send me back to sleep with your whisky lips. Let me lay with you in my, sweet ignorance.

Send me back to sleep